I have never liked cupcakes much, I’ve only made them once in the last three years. To make them, you have to put those little liners into every single cup in the cupcake pan, scoop the same amount of batter into each cup, frost them all, and then decorate each and every one of them! I’m always exhausted after making cupcakes.
And to eat them, you have to peel down the paper – god forbid, some gets stuck to the frosting and you end up chewing on baked paper, yum – and then unhinge your jaw and jut out your teeth like a horse, so that you can get one full bite of cake and frosting and manage to not get it all over your face! Because who really eats a cupcake with a knife and fork?
I feel like it’s a bit of a cop-out. Yeah, they’re cute, but do you ever feel satisfied after eating a cupcake? I always feel like there’s something missing from the experience.
With a piece of cake, you have to stare at it and take in its commanding presence on the plate. You mentally prepare yourself to eat it, ‘Oh yeah, I’m going to eat the hell out of you, cake. Bring it’. I feel powerful when I bake a cake, like I’m Michelangelo, giving birth to my tasty statue of David. There’s nothing like assembling a cake, when you set the second layer and plop the frosting on top. Two awesome, thick layers of cake with the right amount of frosting in between each.
If we’re going to eat cake, let’s be real about it! Let’s own up to eating dessert and take pride in our forkfuls of big, strong cake, instead of awkwardly jutting out our teeth out like horses! Have a moment with a piece of cake and eat it too.